Yesterday, someone sent me an old video.

A very young Venus Williams is being interviewed, and they ask her:
“Why are you so confident?”
Her answer is direct, clear, almost disarming.
But what strikes you is not so much what she says — it’s how she says it:
with calm, quiet strength and deep-rooted conviction.

Self-confidence is often misunderstood.
We think of it as a personality trait — something you either have or don’t have.
But in reality, it’s much more useful to view it as a system of beliefs:
A network of inner expectations about what we can and can’t do.

And these beliefs?
They don’t appear out of nowhere.
They are shaped over time, through experience…
And most of all, through relationships.

Children don’t just learn what’s possible by watching others.
They learn it from the reactions they receive.
From the subtle cues of those around them.
Parents, coaches, teachers — we are mirrors reflecting what’s possible inside them.

 Imagine a young tennis player, facing a tough match against a stronger opponent.
If those around him truly believe in him — if they look at him with confidence,
encourage him genuinely (not with empty praise, but with true belief in his ability to grow) —
then something powerful is born inside: self-efficacy.
That inner voice that says:
 “I can do this.”
 “I won’t always win, but I have what it takes to improve.”

On the other hand…
A hesitation.
A sigh after an error.
A comment like “maybe this isn’t your sport”…
Even overprotection.
Small signals — but they add up.
And over time, they can form devastating beliefs:
“Others can do it. I can’t.”

That’s why what we model is more important than what we say.
Kids absorb our attitude:
 If we face challenges with resilience.
 If we embrace mistakes as part of learning.
 If we stay open, curious, and committed.

Then they’ll do the same.

Let’s teach young players that becoming great doesn’t mean being perfect.
It means accepting a path full of setbacks, frustrations, and off days…
But also one full of progress, discovery, and growing strength.

 “I never lose. I either win or I learn.”
— Serena Williams

That is our role — as coaches, educators, and parents:
To create a space where they don’t need to prove they’re capable…
But where they can discover that they are.

With confidence.
With patience.
With love. 

by Federico Coppini
https://coppinitennisacademy.com/